It's the holiday season, and as those of you who follow me on Facebook know, "Santa" has been quite busy trying to track down Anna's number one Christmas wish: A "working owl."
I know what purple is. I have no sweet clue what "working" means in this context.
"Is it a wind up toy?" Mary asked Anna.
"Yes," she said.
"Does it walk?" Mary asked Anna.
"Yes," she said, and I started Googling wind up toys from the '70s on eBay.
I found a couple, but they were tiny. As in, "Lily will eat them and we'll spend Christmas at Hasbro Children's Hospital" tiny. And about $10 each. Then a friend linked me to a plastic toy owl that, when pressed, sang a couple of notes.
"Anna," I said, "What if your owl sang instead of walked?"
"That could be cool," she said. I began to "buy it now."
"And I want it to walk AND I want to sleep with it so I want it to be soft."
"Anna, they don't make that toy. Santa doesn't make that toy. What about just a soft owl you could sleep with?"
"Okay," she said. I sighed in relief and paid $7 for a stuffed owl on Amazon.
And the singing owl, just to be sure.
They both arrived today and I think she's going to be thrilled. If I don't kill her first.
Because if Santa were to make a "working Kim" toy that said fun phrases, these would be my top 10 for today.
1. Stop Fighting
2. Work it out. Stop tattling.
3. We don't hit.
4. Go potty.
5. Just try. GO POTTY.
6. STOP FIGHTING.
7. Get down the hall, Lily is sleeping. (to be repeated LIKE A BROKEN RECORD)
8. Don't be sassy.
9. Stop slamming the door.
...an that's the family friendly version.
Is it bedtime yet?