Friday, July 4, 2014

Lord of the - well, you know.

As I may have mentioned once or a hundred times, I love summer for the simple fact that we can be outside, which is a lot less crazy making than all four (sometimes five, sometimes six) of us daytime house dwellers bouncing off the walls.

Unfortunately, all of my kids hate bugs. I mean haaaate bugs. Lily freaks out at the sight of ants, and points angrily at the sidewalk.

“The ants can be outside, Lily. They live here.”

“No. You make them go away.”

“Ants are fine, Lily.”

“Dey not gonna eat me?”


“I no yike them. I step on them.” Repeat as often as you see ants.

Today, though, all three girls suddenly ran past me in the front yard and into the house.

“Wasps!” Anna yelled as she slammed the screen door.

“What?” I looked around. I saw no wasps.

“They’re going to suck my blood!” she continued, while they all three ran dramatically around the living room. Five seconds in and I was pining for the great outdoors.

“Wasps are tiny and they suck my blood,” Anna informed me.

“Oh! Those are mosquitos!” I said, relieved that I was not going to have to hunt for a wasp nest any time soon. The one in our shed last summer was fairly exciting. (Protip - poison ivy killer will not kill wasps and that’s saying something. Poison ivy killer WILL kill poison ivy and grass and any other nearby plants like a BOSS.)

“Mosquitos!” Mary said, in an “I can’t believe I forgot this!” tone of voice. “Are they like flies?”

“Well no…not exactly.”

“Why do mosquito bites itch? Why do they drink blood? Do they only get a little at a time?” Mary continued. I attempted to answer the first, then moved on to “because it’s food for them” and concluded with “well, yes, but they’re tiny so they only need a little at a time.”

Mary nodded.

“So they’re pretending to be flies?” Anna asked.

“No, honey, they’re different insects.”

“But they fly and -”

“Yeah and they’re not smart like flies,” Mary added with finality, at which point they were done with the conversation and moved onto other pressing topics like the color of the stripe on Snow White’s dress. (It’s not yellow and Mommy clearly lacks brain cells for thinking so, in case you were wondering.)

Well, not all of us can be as smart as flies, I guess.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Another season, another post.

Welcome to summer 2014, where the kids are old enough to play in the fenced backyard without constant hovering supervision as long as the pool isn't inflated. It's glorious. I mean, I still have every single chore I had over the winter and spring, and then some (hello dirt and sunscreen residue on every available surface!) but NOW I can tackle those without three sets of feet running past me at warp speed. I can actually walk from one room to the other and return to find it not destroyed. It may be the Twilight Zone around here.

Of course with the summer, which has finally arrived after an exceptionally cold spring, comes the humidity and air you could cut with a knife. And that makes for cranky kids about 1 p.m., so I wasn't surprised when Lily came stomping in the living room where I was folding towels, hair plastered back from her face with sweat, little fists clenched, jaw set.

"I quit!" she announced upon seeing me. I blinked.

"You - quit?"

Angry nod.

"What? Why?"

"Because ANNA drank all the water!" she protested, motioning to one of the six million cups that float around this house in their own orbit. This one was empty. "Now I don't have any!"

Oh, the warped sense of justice you have when you're almost three. (Almost three. How did that happen?)

"Well, don't quit. I'll get you some more." I abandon the towels, pick up the cup and walk into the kitchen, grouchy preschooler hot on my heels, a skeptical look on her face. I filled the cup, put the top back on and handed it to Lily, who took a long drink and grinned up at me, all traces of angst gone.

"Fank you, Mama!" she said joyfully, then handed me the cup and went back outside to join her sisters, the screen door slamming loudly behind her.

Well at least she decided to stay.